Declan Lynch | The Raven Cycle

[locoparentis]

Character: Declan Lynch
Fandom: The Raven Cycle

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[dreamkid]

[ Matthew considers this, and it feels somewhat right. It doesn't feel wrong, at least.

He might not get a chance to have any feelings about the truth. ]

Maybe I won't play for a while.

[ The organ, and the bouzouki. Partly he says this because he, too, would like to be pious--in the truest, non-hypocritical way--but unlike Declan he is able to admit the real reason as well, in fact he almost feels compelled to do so. ]

I don't know if-- if I could anyway. It wouldn't be the same.

[ All at once it's very, very hard to keep the promise he made to himself about not crying; the hard lump reappears in his throat and his chest feels tight and maybe he shouldn't have said that. ]

[locoparentis]

[Declan sees that wobble, that sudden hesitation in Matthew, and he doesn't know what to do. He's not a parent, he's barely 17, and he feels that worry in his chest.

They're in public. But it doesn't matter. He turns and puts his arm around Matthew's shoulder and pulls him so that Matthew's face is against his shoulder.]

Yeah, I know.

[No one seems to be looking at them and Declan counts that as a small blessing.]

[dreamkid]

[ Matthew doesn't care if anyone is looking, except he knows that Declan does. Even so, he can't control the shudder that passes through him and the single, ragged little breath he drags into his mouth, the sound muffled against Declan's shoulder.

It doesn't last very long. By the time the service starts he's scrubbing the tears away, and then he just looks up into his brother's face and softly whispers-- ]

Sorry.

[ Ronan still isn't here. Declan's phone still isn't ringing. He needs to stop crying and start praying. ]

[locoparentis]

Don't apologize. You don't have to.

[He presses a kiss against the top of Matthew's head, and during the entire mass, he doesn't let go of his hand.]