Declan Lynch | The Raven Cycle

[locoparentis]

Character: Declan Lynch
Fandom: The Raven Cycle

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[locoparentis]

You don't remember-

Any of it?

[He knows why. But he's not saying yet.]

[dreamkid]

No.

[ Matthew sighs just a little. ]

He was gone. Like, not in this universe anymore. I fell asleep. He explained why when he got back.

[locoparentis]

[Declan looks stricken.]

We didn't love you less for it.

[It's automatic, those words.]

[dreamkid]

[ Matthew just as automatically reaches across the table to take his hand. ]

I know.

[ He's so sincere; he never doubted their love. ]

Ronan said you knew the whole time.

[ This, he thinks, is part of the proof. Declan knew the whole time and always treated Matthew like his little brother. ]

[locoparentis]

I was there. One day I had one little brother, and then the next I had two.

[He covers his mouth with his hand.]

Dad told me not to tell you. I thought we wouldn't ever have to.

[dreamkid]

[ That's--

Matthew looks down at his menu. ]

Why didn't Dad want me to know?

[locoparentis]

Because you came out of a dream.

He didn't want you think you weren't his.

Dad was really....worked up. About what was his.

[dreamkid]

Oh.

[ There's a little pause. Sometimes Matthew isn't sure how well he ever actually knew their dad. ]

It doesn't really matter though, does it? I'm still you guys', even if Ronan got me out of a dream.

[locoparentis]

He didn't want you to think otherwise.

He wanted you to be happy. He wanted you and Ronan to be happy.

[And Declan was the sacrifice for it.]

[dreamkid]

[ Matthew's question really didn't have much to do with Niall's feelings, whatever they were. He wanted to know what Declan thinks. ]

I'm happy, [ he promises. ]

You don't care about it though, right? The dream-- thing.

[locoparentis]

I love you.

I love you no matter where you came from because you're my little brother, okay?

[He ruffles Matthew's hair, easily.]

[dreamkid]

[ That's everything he wanted to hear and more, and Matthew sighs happily, leaning into the touch. ]

I love you, too. I missed you.

[ He said it once but it seems worth repeating. ]

Oh, hey. I'm sixteen now. Sort of. I had my birthday here.

[locoparentis]

I missed your birthday?

What did you get?

[dreamkid]

[ Matthew beams and pulls out his phone, flipping through a bunch of pictures before he finds the one he wants and slides the phone across the table to his brother.

It's a picture of Matthew in his (parked) car; the top is down and he's leaning out the side and laughing at whomever was taking the photo. He looks ridiculously happy. ]

[locoparentis]

[He looks at it and he has an amused look on his face.]

Ronan get that for you?

[He knows exactly where it came from.]

[dreamkid]

Yeah! He made it. Everybody's kind of been teaching me how to drive.

[ He probably will have to tell Declan about the lake... later. For now, he just crosses his arms on the table and leans forward. ]

I want to be able to drive myself to school next year. If we're here that long.

[locoparentis]

I taught Ronan.

I'll teach you.

[Some part of that statement is a lie.

I taught Ronan.]

[dreamkid]

[ Matthew makes a little face and just says-- ]

Declan.

[ There's no reason to lie, Declan. Matthew doesn't hold it against him, of course, and just continues on pleasantly. ]

Dad taught him, right?

[ He kind of forgets to mention his power. ]

[locoparentis]

Dad taught him to drive recklessly.

[That part isn't a lie. The racing, that came from Niall, laughing and charmless and dangerous all at once.]

[dreamkid]

[ Matthew considers this for a moment and then asks, carefully-- ]

Dad was like that about a lot of things, wasn't he?

[ He doesn't sound like he's entirely sure. ]

[locoparentis]

Reckless?

[He's quiet a moment. Niall was reckless with whatever he thought he could recreate. His car. His house. His oldest son's life. He wasn't reckless with Matthew, who was Ronan's, or Ronan, who was precious.]

He could be. But he loved you.

[dreamkid]

I know.

[ Matthew has never doubted the love of anyone. But he looks down at the table, something obviously still on his mind.

Does Declan know, he wonders, that Ronan's Latin teacher had their father killed? Even Matthew realizes that's not something he should ask out of the blue. ]

You know what you want yet?

[ He picks up his own menu again, shifting a little in his seat. ]

[locoparentis]

[He watches Matthew for a minute.]

What is it?

[dreamkid]

[ He stares at his menu, pretending not to hear. He manages to keep that up for almost three whole seconds before he feels too guilty and has to put the menu down again. ]

Nothing, it-- Well, it's not nothing. Ronan just told me some stuff. About Dad.

We don't have to talk about it.

[locoparentis]

But you want to.

[He knows Matthew well enough to know that.]